A compassionate ear, a caring heart, the voice of experience

When it comes to unplanned pregnancy, believe it or not there are women who have walked in your shoes.  They are kind hearted and listen without judgment.  Because of their experience that can let you know their experience, the choices they made both right and wrong.  They can give you information that hopefully allows you to make decisions that are best for you.  Kim Noeth is one of those women.  Click here to read her story.  Her contact information is listed below

 

 

visit birthmomstoday.com; or email birthmomstoday@gmail.com.

 

Question: How has being adoptive parents affected the way you look at life?

Insightful question posed to guest blogger Shelley on the BMB website

A. Being a parent changes you, but when you layer it with being an adoptive parent – it’s pretty mind-blowing. The thing that I never could have expected is that by adopting my daughter, my husband and I weren’t just gaining a child, we were getting an entire extended family. That part has been an unexpected blessing.
I also wasn’t prepared for how much adopting a child of a different ethnicity would change me. I’ve always been pretty intolerant of racism and prejudice, but now, I am acutely sensitive to it. Things that would once roll off my back affect me deeply. Now, when people say things, even in jest, I realize that they are speaking about someone’s child – and it could just as likely be my child. I have become painfully aware that our attitudes and words can be powerful weapons to degrade and limit the future of others.

Adoptive Moms Get The Baby Blues Too

Here is an interesting column by Elizabeth Weiss McGolerick  on the reality of Post Adoption Depression

But there may be a little less empathy for the adoptive mother who didn’t carry a child for nine months and physically give birth. The reality is, every mother needs and deserves support, no matter how she came to have the title of "mom."

Some adoptive parents experience the gestation of all gestations, waiting months, even years, for their child to finally be in their arms and legally theirs. As a result, many mothers begin to feel like they’re not allowed to be anything but grateful for the child that is now in their life. And that great expectation can lead to post-adoption depression.

To read the full column click here

Why is Post Adoption support so important for birth moms? Hear it first hand

How did you find out about Birth Mother Baskets?

A.  I actually was a recipient of one of your baskets while I was in the hospital after delivery.  It meant the world to me.  I still have the soft purple blanket.  Words cannot express how touched I was that there was a person out there that I had never met who went through what I did and therefore wanted to let future women going through that experience know that they are loved.  When I got home from the hospital after placement, I wrapped the blanket around my body and I cried and I felt tremendous love.  It was like a hug. What you do is so important and I thank you for the love and dedication you have.

Questions answered by Birth Mothers touched by adoption

Here is another question posed to a birth mom who was interviewed on the Birth Mother Baskets web site

What would you say to help educate people on adoption?

A.  Adoption is such a hot-topic right now for the good and the bad, especially in the state of Utah.  I would challenge people who have strong feelings about what adoption is to do their research before they instigate a debate.  There is so much negativity and that’s unfortunate because adoption can be a blessing, and in my case adoption very much was a blessing.  I think there is a lot of ignorance out there and people ultimately want to defend their opinions.  Adoption is a topic that is sensitive and extremely personal and sacred.  It should only ever be approached with a desire to learn from the other person.  There is so much to learn and that’s the beautiful thing about all of it is that we can all learn from each other if we allow each other to have our own sacred experiences and realize that this is a topic where you shouldn’t try to convince another person of your standing.  If you are trying to convince someone that adoption is “good” or “bad” then you are missing the point.  There is a huge difference between advocating for something and trying to convince someone of the “goodness” or “badness” of your individual experience.

Sage Advice from a Birth Mom - Considering placing your baby for adoption?



I pulled this question from a guest blogger on the Birth Mother Baskets website.  Thought provoking wisdom from a woman who knows.

Q.  What advice would you give to expectant parents who are considering placing their baby for adoption?

A.  Research the crap out of your options!  There are difficult stories out there of adoption going wrong, and there are amazing stories out there of adoption going beautifully well.  Become familiar with them all.  But also know that the final choice is yours how you want placement to go, or if you decide to parent.  There is no easily wrapped up and convenient standard to what open adoption “is”.  It is truly a case-by-case situation and what has worked for other’s maybe won’t work for you.  I think it’s important to familiarize yourself with the good and the bad so that you know what questions you need to ask your prospective adoptive parents.  They are hard and potentially uncomfortable conversations to have, especially as you are just getting to know each other, but the conversations are vitally important. And ultimately, if you decide to place, at the end of the day it is your decision to sign the dotted line; make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons because there will always be “what-ifs” in the future, and it’s important to remember that it was your decision.  If you feel you are in a position where you are being forced one way or the other, then turn to someone you trust to advocate for you. 

Childconnect.com for Birth Parents

Childconnect was designed to maintain the connection between birth parents and adoptive families. There’s no longer the worry about updating your address after each move or fear you’ll lose precious photos of your child.  Birth Parents have easy and lasting access (up to 18 years) to their pictures, letters, emails, etc. sent by the adoptive family.

Childconnect for Adoptive Parents and Birth Parents

Childconnect has the ability to manage multiple adoptive children from multiple birth parents under a single adoptive family account. The system automatically creates Lifebooks for adoptive families to upload pictures, videos, letters, and documents for their birth parents to view. Adoptive families, birth parents, and agencies communicate through a secure communication messaging system that protects both the parents.